The story of Sam and Dean's sort-of-Alternate-Universe Lives
by CrimsonFlowerz
Summary: Sam is a trouble some, sassy boy and Dean is an angsty teen who thinks he lives in his own eternal damnation. ((Prompt given by my writing teacher; fantastic results.))


**This was a prompt given to me by my teacher in a writing class. It just ended up like this... I hope you guys find this funny ;3**

**I was given a list of words to use in this story in order. The words may be changed within reason. ex: Babies - Baby; Here they are:**

_Babies_

_Calcium_

_Angst_

_Damnation_

_Bean_

_German_

_Supernatural_

_Sass_

_Giraffe_

_Kumquat_

_Archangel_

_Salt_

_Frivolous_

_Hatred_

_Miraculous_

_Odd_

_Bubbles_

_Platonic_

_Imagine_

**And now we begin...**

Sam had been a troublesome baby. He was born with a type of defect that caused an excess buildup of calcium in his bones and joints; causing movement to be painful.

As Sam grew, the buildup became less and less due to the constant, but slow movement of his body. Sam was growing like a weed. By the time he was 14, he was as tall as his 19-year-old, angsty brother named Dean.

Dean had never been and will never be an easy person to get along with. He nearly always talked about his awful life being his eternal damnation; not that he disliked his family, but rather, he hated himself.

As Sam grew to his height, he began to call him _bean_, short for beanstalk. Dean liked to take out his aggression towards himself through sarcastic jokes and general comedy. If he couldn't feel good about himself, he might as well make other people feel better.

When Sam got into his senior year of high school, he decided to take up German. He liked the language because of the way it sounded tough and he could swear at people without them knowing about it. Sam also thought it made him cooler that he knew a second language, and maybe he would get a girlfriend… maybe.

While Sam was learning, um, _German_; Dean was getting into the Supernatural. _Er rather_, he began watching a cheesy show about two brothers in an ugly ass car driving around shooting stuff and asking questions later. In response to that, Sam felt it was his responsibility to sass his brother; even though everything he said went in one ear and out the other for Dean.

Because Sam continued to get even taller, Dean charged his name to Giraffe. One time he drew kumquat-shaped spots on Sam's arms and face as a prank. He wouldn't talk to Dean for a week after that.

One day, after they were both out of college, Sam started to research archangels, completely out of the blue. Dean tried to ask him about it, but Sam just responded by muttering some words in German and lining all the doors and windows with salt. Dean told Sam he was acting frivolously and Sam accused him of not even knowing what an adverb was, so how in the hell did he know what that word even meant. Dean gave him a long look, then backed out of the room; afraid of the dramatic vibes of hatred and irritation wafting from his brother. Then Dean went out for a drink or two, or three, or ten… but what does quantity matter? Miraculously, he didn't get too drunk to walk home.

When he opened the door, he looked into the living room to see Sam chatting with another man. He looked odd enough, and he was eating from a box of sour patch kids. Dean stared at the candy in the unknown man's hand. He hated sour patch kids. In his drunken state, he figured he had to find a way to save same from that man with the candy abomination he was holding.

He backed out of the house quietly and ran to the store down the street to get a weapon. He ran in and picked up the first thing he saw, paid the cashier, and ran out. When he god back, the strange man was offering Sam some sour patch kids with his eyebrows raised in a convincing manor.

Dean opened his weapon, dunked it in its container, and blew. Little bubbles drifted over to Sam and the other man. The stranger was the first to notice.

"Uh, kiddo, what are these bubbles…" he trailed off, now noticing Dean. Sam spun around and glared at his brother.

"Dean!" he snapped. Dean threw the bubble container at the stranger and dove at his feet. He grabbed the sour patch kids, pulled out a lighter, and set the box on fire.

"Now Sammy can't eat your disgusting sour crap!" Dean shouted. The stranger looked amused, like he was holding in his laughter. Sam stared at Dean in astonishment.

"Dean! You just ruined me platonic date with Gabriel!" Sam whined and stomped his foot.

Dean stared at Sam, then at the stranger… who was apparently Gabriel.

"He's an archangel," Sam confessed, and suddenly everything made sense to Dean. Or not, pretty sure none of that really matters at this point.

"I want a platonic angel friend," Dean pouted.

And then, out of nowhere, a short, adorable man with messy black hair and a trench coat on appeared right beside Dean. Dean looked up at him, and then threw the still flaming sour patch kids away.

"I am Castiel, and I will be your platonic angel friend," he said, his voice gravely, but soft.

"This is better than anything I could ever imagine."

And they lived_ platonically_ ever after.


End file.
